It’s about having that toolkit ready to go. What you can control is how you respond to the urge.

If you have the urge to check your phone, an urge to eat something unhealthy, an urge to smoke a cigarette, you don’t control that urge. So many people conflate a feeling with something they can control. A claimer claims responsibility, not for how they feel, but how they react to those feelings. So the third way is to not be a blamer, to not be a shamer, but to be what we call a claimer. That doesn’t help you actually do anything about it. And, of course, that’s a victim mentality. The blamer says: It’s social media, it’s my boss, it’s my kids, it’s all this stuff outside of me. NE: There’s a third way! So there’s the blamer. You say you tended to blame everybody and everything else, and also felt shame about yourself and your inability to focus. Many people, the problem is they try and do everything all at once. So that has to be scheduled, because she also knows that when I’m doing my work, that’s the time when I can’t be distracted, when I can’t be interrupted.

I will be with my daughter, I will be fully present with her. We’re not sure what we’re gonna do.īut I know what I will not be doing: I will not be checking my cell phone, I will not be on social media, I will not be answering work emails. We might go to the museum, we might go get some ice cream, we might go to the library. How can you schedule spontaneity? But the reason we do that is that we have a big four-hour block of time to be together. So my daughter and I, for example, we have scheduled spontaneity. Because if you don’t plan that time, your entire day becomes a distraction. But that time should be planned in advance. NE: I recommend that people do spend time being available to their business colleagues, to their children, whatever the case might be. That we have the ability to take back our time and attention if we so choose. But I can tell you that they’re good, but they’re not that good. I wrote the book on it! And I know all their tips and tricks. The media is never going to tell you you’ve had enough news, you’ve had enough Netflix, you’ve had enough Facebook. They look back and they say, Why was I working on stuff that didn’t help me move my business forward? Why was I not fully present with my kids, and I was worrying about drama, or television, or Facebook, as opposed to being with people I love? It means striving to do what you say you’re going to do, whether it’s to exercise, or eat right, or be fully present with your family, or finish that big project at work or save money.ĭistractable people live their life with regrets. Nir Eyal: Being indistractable means you are as honest with yourself as you are with others. What does it mean to you to be indistractable?

Hooked and indistractable